


let me know (what's up with you)

by bloodyhalefire



Series: something about the bad boys [8]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Gang Violence, Implied Sexual Content, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Pet Names, Protectiveness, Self-Indulgent, i dedicate this to my faithful readers of like two/three years, luke's sisters are badass and great and i love them, my writing was totally bad before but i feel like it's perpetually getting worse, other tags will be added as the story updates, why am i still writing this i genuinely feel like it sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23261362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyhalefire/pseuds/bloodyhalefire
Summary: “Morning,” Luke greets him with a kiss on the forehead before snatching the paper from Lily’s hands, folding it and putting it in his pocket.Sensing a bit of tension rise in the room, Carl can’t help but ask, “What’s that?”“It’s nothing, sweetheart,” Luke responds, “just prep for the run we have tomorrow. You don’t need to worry about it.”(A/N: yes i am aware the series title is awful and cringe BUT there is a level of nostalgia that i cannot part with)
Relationships: Carl Gallagher & Debbie Gallagher, Carl Gallagher & Original Female Character(s), Carl Gallagher/Original Male Character(s)
Series: something about the bad boys [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1084191
Comments: 57
Kudos: 103





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title from “let me know (i wonder why freestyle)” by juice wrld lol
> 
> anyway i wanted to give y'all some content because this fic will be long and i don't want to make you wait for the entire thing, so i hope you enjoy!

When Carl wakes up, it’s to the feeling of being in Luke’s arms—something he knows he will never tire of—and for a few minutes Carl can’t help but simply bask in it: Luke’s warmth and the steady and reassuring sound of his heartbeat where Carl always lays his head. 

However, the feeling of contentment is eventually overruled by his need to eat something; not wanting to wake up Luke, Carl shifts as slowly and as gently as possible to extract himself from the embrace. Once he’s free and sitting up, Carl turns to look at him. He thinks that Luke always looks so peaceful like this, as if all his stress and responsibilities are forgotten with sleep. 

After a minute or two of staring Carl finally tears his eyes away and gets up off the bed to throw on one of Luke’s sweatshirts and go downstairs.

Right before entering the kitchen he stops dead when he hears voices inside—admittedly he hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings very much, so he didn’t hear them until the last second. Carl sneaks a look to see who’s there and he’s met with the sight of Lily and Layna sitting at the table, the former examining what looks like a spreadsheet and the latter cleaning and reassembling some guns. 

But the thing is, Carl still feels a bit awkward around them. He really likes them, don’t get him wrong, but it’s only been about a week since their meeting, and considering they only really met because Carl had just been beat up was not a desirable circumstance for meeting his boyfriends family. 

He’s torn from his thoughts when he hears Lily tell him to come in, though he has absolutely no idea how she knows that he’s here considering the fact that she hasn’t once looked up from her papers. 

Almost as if sensing his hesitation, Layna looks directly at him through the crack in the door with a raised eyebrow, and with a nervous yet resigned sigh Carl walks into the kitchen. 

“Good morning,” Lily says without looking up. Carl really likes Lily, but her lack of emotional expression is definitely off putting sometimes. 

“Hi,” Carl responds awkwardly, and if he didn’t know better he would’ve sworn that the corner of her mouth twitched up. 

He turns to Layna, who proceeds to give him a slow once over as soon as she gets a good glance at him, and he can’t help but blush when he looks down and realizes how he looks—he’s dressed only in a pair of boxers and one of Luke’s too-big sweatshirts that goes halfway down his thighs and gives a perfect view of his neck and the multiple hickies he knows are there. 

“Have a nice night?” she drawls, a knowing smirk on her face. 

And for some reason that completely expected question seems to lower his reservations, because in response he just plops down onto one of the chairs next to her. “Fuck yeah I did.”

Apparently his response comes just as much of a shock to Lily and Layna as it did to him because they both start laughing, though Lily’s is much less obvious. She also has still yet to look up at Carl; in fact, now that Carl thinks about it, as soon as he sat down she shifted away from him so that the paper she’s been looking at was less visible to him.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he opens his mouth to ask her what it is, but his breath catches in his throat when he notices Luke walk into the room. He’s wearing baggy grey sweats and a black wife beater, and it takes all of Carl’s self-control to not ask him if they can go back upstairs so that Luke can fuck him into the mattress. 

“Mornin’,” Luke greets him with a kiss on the forehead before snatching the paper from Lily’s hands, folding it and putting it in his pocket. 

Sensing a bit of tension rise in the room, Carl can’t help but ask, “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing, sweetheart,” Luke responds, “just prep for the run we have tomorrow. You don’t gotta worry about it.”

Carl nods slowly and decides to drop it, despite the fact that he’s absolutely fucking worrying about it. Especially considering the deadpan and unimpressed look Lily is shooting Luke from across the table that she obviously thinks Carl can’t see.

Then all of a sudden the back door swings open and Lexi, Mickey, Iggy, and four older men Carl doesn’t recognize enter the room—they’re all pretty tall, one of them with glasses, one of them balding, and two of them are just huge.

“This is a fuckin’ mess,” the man with glasses says in lieu of a greeting. “We all need to talk. Now.”

Luke blinks in shock before turning to Carl, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door. He cups Carl’s face in his hands and looks into his eyes. “Go upstairs and get dressed, sweetheart, this will only take a second.”

He winces at the deadpan stare Carl gives him in response, realizing that Carl’s not only seeing through that lie easily but also that he’s calling Luke out on it. 

“Okay, fine, it’ll take more than a second,” Luke amends with a sigh, and Carl can’t help the rush of affection he feels despite himself. “But still, not that I don’t love the way you look right now, because I definitely do, but go get dressed.”

Carl blushes at the words but manages to hold Luke’s gaze for a minute before finally nodding. Luke smiles softly at him before wrapping his arms around Carl’s shoulders and pulling him to his chest. “I love you so much, baby,” Luke whispers, kissing his temple before pulling away. He nods towards the door, and Carl dutifully leaves despite his reluctance. 

However, he gets dressed as quickly as possible before sneaking downstairs to eavesdrop. 

And apparently he must have missed a lot, because things are definitely getting heated; he peaks through the crack in the door and he could cut the tension in the kitchen with a knife. Lexi and the balding man are leaning over Lily and looking at the papers she must have gotten back from Luke. Layna is still sitting at the table, but this time she’s filing her nails. Mickey and his brother are propped up against the island, and the rest of the older men are leaning against a wall. Luke is standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed and a determined look on his face. 

“They ain’t good news,” the man with glasses is saying, “how many times did I fuckin’ tell youtell you we needa do somethin? And look at where you not listenin’ to me got us?”

“Give him a fuckin’ break, Ricci,” Mickey says exasperatedly. “Considering he’s been the underboss for a year and he’s been the fuckin’ actin-boss for months since our real boss man had to go off grid, you gotta hand it to him.”

“He’s done as well as he can given the circumstances,” Lexi adds with a glare, “I haven’t seen you do shit.”

The man—Ricci—huffs. “He still shoulda listened to me about it.”

It’s then that Luke seems to have had enough taking these guys shit, and despite the fact that he’s still reeling and unable to truly comprehend the implications of what he’s hearing, he feels a burst of pride. “We have had way more important things on our plate to focus on than these assholes, alright? I know I coulda been more proactive about them, but I’ve had a hell of a lot on my plate considerin’ the boss screwed half our operations before he had to go off the grid.”

Iggy scoffs. “Either way, you only started carin’ after they went after your boy.”

That’s what that was about?

At those words Lily leaps out of her chair with so much force that it falls over behind her. She pays no mind to it, instead getting right into Mickey’s older brother's personal space.. “You know for a fact that isn’t true, Iggy,” she growls angrily, and it’s almost frightening and definitely something that Carl didn’t think she was capable of. “Everyone in this room and then some knows that Luke has risked life and limb for this gang a hundred times over, just like me and my sisters have. He would die for any single one of us without a second thought. 

“I don’t care if you don’t like this plan, because whether or not there could’ve been a better one doesn’t matter at this point. This is what it is. Besides, it isn’t you that’s going to be putting your ass on the line tomorrow. And not just that,” she continues passionately, “but there’s a reason he’s the boss, and there’s a reason me and my siblings have more power than you ever will in this gang. You should remember that.”

As soon as she’s finished Lily walks back over to where she was sitting and wordlessly picks up her fallen chair. After she sits down, she reaches across the table for Layna’s cigarettes and lights one. 

It’s still silent, nobody knowing what to say. After a minute, Mickey snorts and ruffles her hair. “See,” he says with a smile, “I knew there was a reason you were my favorite.”

“We don’t have fuckin’ time for this,” Luke finally speaks up, before turning to Lily. “Let’s go over everything again.”

And as Luke starts talking, the part of Carl that’s been silently spiraling from all of this new information he’s learning about Luke takes over; he can’t take it anymore.

He turns tail and runs out of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm super sorry if this sucks you guys i just really wanted to get this out there

Carl doesn’t stop running until he gets to his house. He bursts through the backdoor and sprints to the island, leaning against it as he tries to catch his breath.

“Um,” he hears a voice say, and his head snaps up to the sight of Debbie sitting on the counter and drinking a milkshake, “what’s up with you?”

He crosses his arms over the island’s top and rests his head on them. “Luke’s been lying to me.”

“About what?”

“A lot,” Carl laments. “Did you know he’s the acting-boss of the gang? That he risks his life on a weekly basis? That he’s going on an assignment tomorrow that’s apparently the most dangerous one they’ve been on in a really long time?”

Debbie whistles. “Holy shit. That’s pretty intense.”

He glares at her response; that’s an understatement to say the least.

“I don’t know what to do,” he says, “I don’t like being mad at him, but this is big. I can’t just forgive him and move on like nothing happened, yanno?”

She nods. “Wait, you’re talking about a dangerous operation, but do you even know what it is?”

That makes Carl pause. “I actually have no idea.”

Before he can think more on that, he hears someone walking up the stairs to the backdoor behind him, and he knows for a fact that it’s Ian—Fiona is at the Alibi, Lip is out whichever girl he’s in a relationship with at the moment, and Liam is at a friends house—so he turns around and immediately gets in Ian’s face. “Did you fuckin’ know about this?”

Ian blinks, obviously caught off guard. “Know about what?”

“Luke!” Carl practically screams. “Luke being the acting-boss of their fucking gang! The run that they’re going on tomorrow! The one that they’re treating like it’s going to be the most dangerous thing ever! Did you know?”

Ian’s face takes on an expression that’s half concerned and half guilty, and the dichotomy is almost comical. “Um,” he starts, “I might’ve know that he was the acting-boss, but—“

“Are you kidding me?” and this time Carl does scream. “You knew and didn’t think it was something you should tell me? You really thought that the fact that my fucking boyfriend is the acting-boss of a gang isn’t something I should know?”

”I found out by accident and Luke swore me to secrecy,” Ian says as he raises his hands placatingly; it only serves to make him angrier, “Luke said he wanted to be the one to tell you.”

Carl is fuming. “When was he going to do that? Because he didn’t seem like he needed to tell me anything anytime soon, and apparently he’s been the acting boss for months.”

“I’m sure it’s because he didn’t want you to worry,” Debbie pipes up, and it’s the first thing she’s said since Ian’s arrived.

“Well I’m fucking worried, so I guess that plan backfired,” Carl replies, and just like that almost all of his anger dissipates; all he feels now is exhausted and drained. He sighs deeply as he plops down at one of the kitchen table’s chairs, placing his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands.

“Wait,” Ian asks slowly, “what do you mean a dangerous—”

He’s cut off by a knock at the door, and Ian leans backward to look. “It’s Luke.”

At the words Debbie hops off the counter, throwing her empty milkshake into the trash and heads toward the door. “And that’s my cue to leave,” she says over her shoulder as she opens the backdoor. “Good luck, Carl.”

Carl glares weakly at the back of her head in response but otherwise says nothing. He then turns his attention to Ian who simply shrugs and says, “I’m going to Mickey’s,” as he begins to walk toward the front door where Luke’s waiting.

“Hey, Luke,” he hears Ian greeting him from his spot in the kitchen. Luke’s mumbled Hey in response kicks Carl into gear and he finally decides to make his way towards the front room.

He doesn’t look at Luke as he walks out, choosing to stand at the threshold of the door rather than go completely outside. Carl wants to keep as much space between them as he can between them; he’s worried that he won’t be able to stand his ground anymore if they’re standing too close.

“What do you want,” Carl asks, but it sounds more like a deadpan statement than anything else.

Luke winces. “I’m assuming you heard the conversation earlier, and I just wanted to say that I—“

“That you’re what,” Carl interrupts, “sorry? Like an apology is going to fix the fact that you’ve been lying to me for months?”

Luke looks upset but not surprised, and Carl has no idea how he feels about that. “I know it doesn't, of course I do," he says with a sigh. "But I wanted to say it anyway."

"Well it doesn't matter," he snaps. "It doesn't fuckin' matter."

Luke clenches his fists and grits his teeth in response but otherwise stays silent. They stare at each other for a minute, and it takes every ounce of willpower for Carl to stop himself from just apologizing and jumping into Luke’s arms. Instead he squares his shoulders and says, “Let’s just talk later or something, because I really don’t want to see you right now.”

Luke opens his mouth, no doubt about to argue—and Carl would bet every single cent he has to his name that his boyfriend is fuming at the blatant dismissal—but he seems to think better of it, because a second later he just nods as he lets out a sharp sigh. “Alright, sweetheart.”

Neither of them say anything else, so Luke turns and leaves. As soon as he’s out of sight Carl sits down on the stairs; he lights a cigarette and takes a long drag.

* * *

That night he takes a long shower as he finally lets himself truly think about everything that’s going on and all the information he’s learned. The more he thinks about it the more he finds himself conflicted—on one hand he’s absolutely furious at Luke for lying to him all this time, but on the other hand he’s so insanely worried. What if something happened to Luke and Carl had no idea? If one minute Carl thought everything was fine and the next moment he’s informed that Luke’s dead? He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

At the end of the day, all he really wants right now is to just forgive Luke and fall into his embrace and never leave.

But at the same time, he knows that this is something he can’t back down from; Carl needs to stand his ground on this—Luke needs to know how much this has affected him and how he won’t allow anything like this to happen again.

After he gets out of the shower, he puts on a pair of boxers and walks to his room. He sits on the bed and just sort of looks around his room, still stuck in his thoughts. After a minute, he notices something in the corner of his room that makes his heart stop in his chest in an oddly painful way.

It’s Luke’s favorite sweatshirt. He must’ve left it here one of the last times he was here, and Carl can’t help but blush at the memory of what happened after Luke took it off.

Not that Carl is willing to admit it but no matter how angry or upset he is at Luke, wearing one of his sweatshirts will always make him feel safe; it’s a poor substitute for the real thing, but it’ll work for now.

If he puts it on and wears it to sleep, it’s nobody's business but his own.

* * *

Carl doesn’t wake up until 3 in the afternoon the next day and he lays in bed until the sun begins to set, no part of him wanting to get up and face the day. When he does, the first thing he does is walk to Luke’s; Carl might be mad, but he doesn’t want Luke to leave before they at least try to talk about yesterday.

He’s not in too much of a rush considering they won’t leave until later that night, but when Carl knocks nobody answers. He runs home and bursts through the backdoor. He’s met with the sight of Ian sitting at the kitchen table with a coffee in his hand, and he’s staring at it like it’s holding all the secrets in the universe. At the commotion he looks up and raises an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“Why isn’t Luke home?” Carl demands.

Ian’s expression fills with pity at the question. “They left a few hours ago.”

Carl’s heart stops dead in his chest. “I thought they didn’t leave until tonight,” he says in a weak voice.

“They had to leave earlier than expected,” Ian explains. “Mickey told me that Luke wanted to come over and talk before he left but that he didn’t have time. He called and left a voicemail, though.”

And fuck, because Carl hasn’t checked his phone all day. He rushes upstairs, almost tripping and landing on his face in his haste to grab it. Once he turns it on, he sees one missed call and one voicemail. With a pounding heart, Carl clicks on it and raises the phone to his ear.

“Hey, it’s me.

I know I’m probably the last person that you want to hear from right now, but I just wanted to talk to you before I left. I would have preferred to stop by, but I didn’t have time.

I’m sorry for not telling you everything about me and the gang. But at the same time, you gotta understand that I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to worry you or scare you. And while I understand where you’re coming from, don’t think I’m not angry at you either. Seeing as there’s no point in sugarcoating the operation today, I’ll be straight with you—it’s going to be dangerous. Extremely so. That’s one of the reasons I’m frustrated with you… if something happens to me, I don’t want our last conversation to be an argument. That’s also kinda why this voicemail is probably beginning to sound like my last words or some shit. Sorry about that.

So listen. Not to sound overly cheesy or anything, but I want you to know that even if we fight or if we’re angry with each other, I’ll always love you. Nothing will change that, baby. Absolutely nothing.

I have to go now, but I’ll hopefully be seeing you soon. I love you, sweetheart. Sorry about all of this.”

“Fuck!” Carl yells, throwing his phone across the room. “Fuck!”

As soon as his phone hits the wall he hears someone run up the stairs. He looks up to see Ian standing in his doorway. “Are you okay?”

Carl laughs humorlessly. “No.”

Ian nods his head to the direction of the stairs. “Let’s have a fuckin’ drink,” he says. Carl couldn’t agree more.

Once they’re seated at the kitchen table with a couple beers, Ian takes a deep breath. “They’ll be okay,” he says, and both of them know that Ian doesn’t actually believe it. “They always are, in the end.”

He ignores the statement completely, choosing instead to chug a bit of beer. “Did Mickey tell you anything about what they’re actually doing?”

“Not about what they’re doing specifically,” Ian says, “But he did explain at least a little bit of why everything’s happening.”

Carl’s head snaps up to look at him. “Tell me,” he demands.

Ian takes a deep breath. “You know the former boss? The one that Luke took over for when he went underground?” Carl nods. “Well apparently he pissed a lot of people off during his time at the top. One gang more than any other. But Luke wasn’t focusing on them too much because of the fact that the boss screwed up so many other operations—they couldn’t fix everything at once. But then you got hurt last week, and everything changed. They targeted you because they were trying to send Luke a message. Despite all of that, they’re still allies… at least at the moment. They’re meeting tonight to talk.”

Carl takes a sip of his beer as he tries to digest everything. “Wait,” he begins slowly, “if they’re allies, what makes tonight so dangerous?”

“They’re volatile. You never know what they’re thinking, and they don’t really have limits. I mean, they beat you up despite the fact that they’re allies with the gang. Imagine what could happen tonight if something goes wrong.”

The feeling that runs through his veins at the statement can’t be described as anything but intense fear. They sit in silence after that, both of them not quite knowing how to continue.

Debbie, Fiona, V, and Kevin come back to the house around 11, well after the two of them have finished at least one case of beer. Upon seeing them, the ladder three immediately start questioning them upon seeing their worried expressions. After Ian and Carl give them a quick explanation, Fiona and V decide to try and take everyone’s minds off it by making dinner. It works as well as it can.

Around 3 in the morning Fiona suggests that maybe the two of them should just go to sleep, but before either of them can protest, there’s a desperate knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading !!

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this didn't suck and that you like it
> 
> remember, comments and kudos are my life blood so if you enjoyed please do so...
> 
> also, remember, if there is anything you want to see please let me know! i love hearing your ideas and getting requests. feel free to comment them here or shoot me an ask/message on my tumblr mysticdevils!


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